Saying goodbye is genuinely not the best thing in the world, as it means that you need to start letting go of the past that once made you happy. You might be feeling devastated by how beautiful the beginning of each relationship had only to be followed by an abrupt end. When goodbye and good riddance were all said and done, you are supposed to serve as a lesson to other people you are saying goodbye to them.
Saying goodbye and good riddance gives you a new beginning. Without an ending, you will not be able to start something new. Allowing yourself to see the good in goodbye when it is already time to say goodbye will let you grow even better as a person. You must remember that whenever you lose someone, you are preparing that place for someone better. It is a good thing whenever you hear goodbye and good riddance since losses are gains at the same time.
If you choose to stay in a love-hate relationship, it will just maximize the amount of stress in your life since everything becomes too much to handle. You will take a longer time to realize that you only need to reflect on that so you can prepare yourself if there will be unavoidable changes caused by letting go of the past that will rush through your door.
Whether you like it or not, parting ways will come at some point. Once they do, you should see the good in it and now that it marks the fresh start of your life. That is how you can start letting go even when you are having a hard time.
- Why People Say Goodbye
- They are not happy anymore
- There is no communication anymore
- They already changed
- People Become More Distance
- When Do They Say Goodbye
- When you are fighting more than the usual
- When you do not trust each other anymore
- When the relationship becomes a burden
- When you start imagining your life without them
- How To Improve Yourself
Why People Say Goodbye
The first thing people do when they are letting go of the past is to ask why it happened, why people had to say goodbye. Maybe you have tried everything to avoid goodbye and good riddance since you thought that if you do so, you could prevent the feeling of loss.
But people see goodbye and good riddance as the best thing in the world since it allows them to give importance to themselves. It will enable people to recognize the feelings that they ignore for the longest time because they had to keep it all along. Aside from that, people have a lot of possible reasons why they choose to take a different path now.
- They are not happy anymore – Maybe they felt like being with someone was making them feel like they are down all the time, and it is not a good thing since it is affecting their well-being and their health. In the end, they had no choice but to say it was already over.
- There is no communication anymore – Lack of contact can eventually weaken a relationship foundation. So whenever communication is no longer prioritized, one can expect that it can be possibly followed with a goodbye.
- They already changed – If you are familiar with the line “you have changed, that’s why I do not love you anymore” then that’s it. Some people change so much that it became overwhelming to other people, so instead of fixing it, they tend to end it all.
- People Become More Distance – Spending their time with people now feels like an obligation. Instead of growing closer, they tend to grow apart, and that is when they know it is already time to say goodbye.
When Do They Say Goodbye
No one knows when exactly can letting go of the past can be the best thing in the world for someone who wanted nothing but a person by his/her side. Maybe you are questioning why people would go through this hard time in finding how to end their relationships rather than moving on immediately.
Schwörer, Krott, and Oettingen (2020) introduced the concept of “a well-rounded ending, defined as an ending marked by a sense of closure. Specifically, people should describe an ending as well-rounded if they feel that they have done everything they could have done, that they have completed something to the fullest, and that all loose ends are tied up (i.e., a feeling of closure).”
That explains why people tend to say goodbye when they are already experiencing emotional discomfort from that particular person. We all have good and bad times in our lives, however, when things finally get out of control, saying goodbye and good riddance is the best thing in the world you can do to save whatever is left between the two parties. So when you finally reach any of the following instances, you should know that saying goodbye is the best option you should take.
When you are fighting more than the usual
Having fights when you are in a relationship is normal as long as you choose to get the lesson afterward, and you do everything to resolve your misunderstanding. However, when the fighting becomes a normal routine for both of you and worse, it always ends up involving verbal or physical abuse. Saying sorry will never make this hurt and respect anymore, and saying goodbye is truly the best thing in the world once this happens. After all, nobody deserves to be in a negative or exhausting relationship. Even though when you are sharing your life with someone, you should not forget to take of yourself still. That is one form of self-love.
When you do not trust each other anymore
A relationship without trust is like a body without a soul. It is essential to completely trust your partner no matter what because if you do not, then something is wrong, so it is time to say goodbye. Having a habit of trying to be like an FBI who scrolls through your partner’s emails, social media, and phone is a massive sign that the relationship will soon end. Aside from that, lack of trust sometimes leads to infidelity, so that is another reason why you should stop hurting yourself and your partner by saying goodbye and good riddance. Remember that no relationship can ever survive for a long time without trust.
When the relationship becomes a burden
It takes two people to make a relationship work. When you feel like you are doing the job and effort, then it is time to say goodbye. Disregarding you is one of your partner’s ways to make you feel like you are not good enough for them, and that you do not deserve that. People like you will eventually realize that this kind of setup is making you tired and under-appreciated, so in the end, letting go is the best thing in the world you can do. We all want to be in a relationship so we can be happy with someone with whom we can share our lives. But when a relationship already takes up your energy and the burden outweighs the good things between you and your partner, then you will never have the chance to see fun together. This can also stop you from having fun, and there is no point in continuing your relationship if you are dealing with everything alone.
When you start imagining your life without them
When your relationship with them becomes too toxic, you tend to imagine about what-ifs and what could have been. You will start to have wishful thinking like, what if you are single? Will you be able to finally party and travel again because your partner is no longer by your side? Will you be able to hook up with other people? Having these kinds of thoughts is not only toxic, but even your partner does not deserve that as well. When you two becomes mentally broken, you will only end up hurting each other even more. So when you start to fill the void with other necessary things, it is time to say goodbye and give yourself a break by saying goodbye and good riddance.
How To Improve Yourself
When you finally let go of the past, of course, it is time for you to improve yourself and do the things you never got the chance to do alone before. You can also begin being true to yourself without ghosting other people. When you finally choose to go alone, you are allowing yourself to find the things about you — flawed or not — and start loving yourself again. David Brudö, CEO and co-founder of the mental well-being and personal development app Remente, told Business Insider there are several ways to practice self-love after a bad relationship has ended, and you can follow the simplest thing below without even leaving your house.
Do Fun Things Online
Social media, for other people, is the best thing in the world. Heck, it is enjoyable and incredible! It keeps you in touch with your loved ones, keeps you inspired (thank you Pinterest), and also helps you to be more aware of your surroundings. But have you ever imagined what it’s like to live without it or simply limit your exposure to it just like before there ever was social media? No. I’m not saying that you live under a rock and be anti-social. And it also doesn’t mean not using your phone or any gadget entirely.
What I’m saying is, there are many other things you can do on the Internet. Aside from social media, you could still create a significant impact on your relationships and self-development. This can also give you a chance to comfort yourself after saying goodbye and good riddance to someone.
Make that call.
Sometimes, we think that being on social media makes us connected to our “friends” or “followers.” Seeing their posts makes us feel that we know what’s going on with their lives without reaching out to them. However, most of the time, that is not the case.
That’s why a one-minute call is all you’ll ever need – all the more important. Catch up on some stories with friends (aside from the stories that they share on Instagram). Ask them a random question. Make plans with them for dinner or a trip out-of-town or even abroad. If posting for Likes equates to their need for affirmation and attention, calling them won’t only bring a smile to their faces, but it will also let them feel less lonely.
Let’s Get Physical
What better way to improve one’s health and connect with other people after letting go of the past, especially in a time of a pandemic, is to find other people who are also interested in learning the same things as you do-like for example, joining a live dance, yoga, or pilates class online. It will not only prevent you from being a couch potato, but it will also release your happy hormones and be part of a community with the same goal as you do.
Join a Book Club
Joining a book club may be very traditional and grueling for some. Instead of enjoying the flow of what you’re reading, you will have to make notes and discuss the characters, and the plot. Reading may be a way to somehow “isolate” yourself from the world, but isn’t it nice to know that there are many people out there who have the same passion as yours? It can also give you different perspectives, ideas, and opinions that can help open your world and be more flexible and emphatic. Being in a book club, you have to go outside, meet at a cafe or somewhere reasonably quiet. All that effort can sometimes be challenging, especially for introverts.
All these tips are friendly enough not to push you to go outside. After all, you might still feel down to move, so begin your healing with the aforementioned steps.
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